I Soon Reach

“I want to bring island time home with us,” my fiancé said as we walked into the Turks and Caicos airport. “Seems simple enough and also easier said than done,” I thought. I feel like I have been trying to find the elusive flow my whole life! My temporary solution was to get a beer and make the most out of the tiny, congested airport and dwindling last moments of vacation. 

The only seats available were outside past the bar and fresh air seemed like the best option considering COVID was still a thing, right? We both ordered the local light beer which came with a refreshing message. The label served as a reminder for us to hold close as we traveled home to Colorado. I Soon Reach is island lingo for “no worries, you’ll get there when you get there.” Basically, just chill out!

Vacation puts things in perspective. In the beginning I couldn’t imagine a week without checking email, texts, social media etc. It took a few days to completely relax and have the feeling that, “I’ve arrived.” By the end I was refreshed, fully aboard island time and honestly unsure how to re-emerge into reality again. 

What happened over the week was a magical phenomenon, one which we may have taken for granted at one point. Since travel became a novelty as a byproduct of the pandemic, we were grateful from the moment we boarded the plane. The vacation could be compared to time travel that involved slowing the mind, body and soul while preparing for more intentionality moving forward. It was the reminder we needed to transcend the tedious mental priorities that so often occupy human existence.  

One problem with time away is that, even with these reminders, it’s tricky to transition back to reality. Why is life so this or that? We feel this harmonious flow regularly, it just takes intention, practice, realizing when life feels stuck and then practicing letting go again. 

Sure enough, flow is defined as “a steady, continuous stream of something,” by the New Oxford American Dictionary. Mihaly Csikszentimihalyi summarizes the flow state of life as “positive aspects of human experience - joy, creativity, the process of total involvement with life.”(1) His book, Flow, references happiness and moment-to-moment enjoyment which comes with intentional presence in every detail. 

I have found that feeling presence requires a continuous stream of practice and by doing so we can achieve this “deep sense of [long cherished] enjoyment called optimal experience.”(5) It is in this state when we feel the sense of complete presence,  happiness, focus and other meanderings of the mind don’t seem to matter. Optimal experience is different for everyone depending on what inspires creativity. For me, it’s is how I feel when I write, completely engrossed for the “sheer sake of doing it.”(4)

Balance is constantly in flux and it takes mindful adjustments to live in this flow state. Over time we become more aware of what doesn’t serve us and try not to do those things. The problem is, old habits die hard… or perhaps never do. Sometimes we get stuck in the middle of doing and don’t realize it until a literal stumble realigns the path. 

The first morning back hOMe was mellow, with rain falling fluidly from the sky. Around noon the steady rainfall slowed and my pup was ready for some action so we ran around Sloan’s Lake. “All good,” I thought, “more water = more flow.” We jogged until we were passed from behind by another runner. “Wait, what?! That’s not gonna fly!” my silly monkey mind was quickly reminded of the competitive nature I thought had subsided. It had been over 5 years since my last mountain bike race and I had since slowed down, actually fallen off the hamster wheel of my past chaotic lifestyle.

My yoga studies have taught a lot about dissolving ego, letting go of control and granting myself grace. Yet something deeply ingrained broke free and I instinctively quickened my vacation indulgent and humidity heavy body to chase after the runner. My pup thought it was a game and was down for the chase. “See it’s just fun, not competitive,” I persuaded myself. 

The universe thought differently though, “Didn’t you just finish talking to your therapist about finding flow in real life and how you wanted to hold that close for as long as you can?!” I sarcastically rolled my eyes, "Thanks universe, I didn’t even make it an hour let alone a week, month or more as hoped.” Before I knew it I was face first in a puddle and completely covered with mud and dirty water, probably geese poop too! 😆 

I don’t recall the last time I literally ate shit that hard! The walk of shame back home was at least one that made me laugh out loud about the silliness of my ways. The funny part is that I sort-of saw it coming and then resisted the universe telling me to flow and just jog with my dog. My body seems to know what’s best and when it’s time to knock me flat on my face in this case! I suppose stubborn is the label for such silliness. 

I decided to choose grace this time and put my inner critic to rest allowing my mindful self to re-emerge. Traveling gives the gift of grace, presence and optimal experiences. When back in reality, finding flow sometimes feels like forcing flow but really it’s just practicing what doesn’t come naturally.

Removing resistance, like unblocking the dam in a river, creates flow. Whenever things are going well in life I am undoubtably in the flow and when things feel stuck I am not. Mindfulness is step one, finding presence is step two, continuous conscious practice is step three. It takes faith, trust, presence and patience to be in the flow. 

Writing this blog was an interesting process. I have been writing a lot lately but for different reasons. In January I set an intention to write one blog per month but didn’t in April. I kept hoping that this so-called flow would find it’s way into my creative space and writing would effortlessly transcribe upon these electronic pages.

I felt inspired while on vacation and inspiration has visited a few times since… along with excuses. The monkey mind taunted about selfishly taking time for my own writing, “Who wants to read it anyway?” “Blogs are a dime a dozen.” “Blah, blah, blah…” And yet this blog has been beggin’ to be written. Forcing the flow of writing didn’t seem right based upon my own preconceived notions of going with the flow, similar to how I feel while traveling. 

Consciously, I decided to practice and letting go of perfection to allow my creativity to flow. When I write I feel present, fluid, happy and it is an “optimal experience.” Flow has been the word of the week now 2 weeks running and probably will be for at least 2 more weeks, perhaps months or even years to come. Will you join me in finding and intentionally keeping the flow?

I Soon Reach…